“I just found out that my husband has been sexual with other men. Is my husband gay?” The answer to that question may be “yes,” but the touchstone of whether a person is gay is not that they act out with the same sex. Some men who act out with men are heterosexual.
I have had some male clients who act out with men tell me that they would engage in sexual acts with men while watching heterosexual pornography. Some male sex addicts act out with men because they perceive that the supply of willing partners is more plentiful. Others act out with men because they believe they are not “really” being unfaithful to their female partner. Still others act out with men because they believe this activity is more forbidden and will give them a higher high.
